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An Unflinching Look at the Realities of Domestic Violence—and the Women Who Work to End It

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While domestic violence has received a great deal of mainstream attention recently, a documentary premiering this week on HBO that was twelve years in the making explores not only the depth of the problem but the longstanding work of women advocates who have been tackling the issue for years.

Private Violence asks viewers to look closely at the factors that allow domestic violence to flourish in the United States: willful ignorance that often results in victim-blaming, unrealistic expectations of women, and a criminal justice system markedly unresponsive to victims and survivors. The documentary, directed by Cynthia Hill, follows the work of North Carolina survivor/advocate Kit Gruelle and other DV activists, chronicling the multifaceted and often frustrating work they do advocating for victims in the courtroom and with police; training law enforcement officials; and counseling women and families struggling with the scars of intimate partner violence. In the process, the film squarely confronts and debunks persistent myths and misunderstanding about domestic violence.

Gruelle, an advocate for over 20 years, started working on the film in 2002 to celebrate the efforts of DV advocates and survivors. Gruelle noted to WMC that most domestic violence work “happens in quiet places, not out in the street. And there’re some really incredible women who do this work, and I wanted them to be captured, honored, and recognized.” By the time Hill joined the project six years ago, Gruelle, working with other filmmakers, had already developed a 22-minute short on the history of the movement, with an intent to develop a longer, Eyes On the Prize-type series.

Hill brought a more cinema verité style of documentary filmmaking focused on portraying the work of advocates today, as well as emphasizing the perspectives and experiences of the women. “I had a sticky note above the edit machine that read, ‘why doesn’t she just leave?’” Hill said. “That was what I was trying to get at in the whole film, so that [after] somebody watches this, [they] can no longer ask that question.” Hill brought Gruelle in front of the camera not only as an advocate, but also as a survivor. Gruelle escaped after years of abuse from her husband only when he died on the job cleaning up an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Just three weeks before he died, she had attempted suicide. “He was trained by the United States Marine Corps to hunt people down and kill them,” she said, “and he told me if I left, he would hunt me down and kill me. That’s why I didn’t leave.” In fact, women are at dramatically greater risk of being killed while in the process of leaving or after they’ve left. As Gruelle says in the documentary, “It’s not clean, it’s complicated. There’s a lot more to [abusive relationships] than people are willing to give women credit for.”

Private Violence is particularly strong in exposing the culpability of the legal system. One subject of the film, Latina, was blinded in her right eye after years of severe abuse by her boyfriend, whom she eventually killed. She was charged with first-degree murder and faces life imprisonment. Women, especially women of color like Latina, are ignored by the courts, Gruelle said, and “wind up taking matters in their own hands. Then they get labeled as if they’re these violent, wretched women, when really all they did was protect themselves and their children.”

Another featured account is the brutal case of Deanna Walters. Walters and her daughter were abducted by her estranged husband, Robbie, after she left him. During a four-and-a-half-day ordeal, Walters was severely beaten in Robbie’s truck as he and a partner made commercial deliveries across several states. This incident was the culmination of nine years of violence. Walters escaped after concerned friends in North Carolina rallied to have his eighteen-wheeler stopped on the grounds of child endangerment. For several months thereafter, Walters lost custody of her daughter—another development that’s not uncommon.

Walters and her advocate Stacy Cox were told that under North Carolina law, even if Robbie was prosecuted, all they could expect was a misdemeanor assault charge and 150 days in jail. After petitioning over the course of a year, Cox had Walters’ case tried on a federal level; her abuser was found guilty of kidnapping and interstate domestic violence and sentenced to 20 years. If not for the 1994 Violence Against Women Act, cases like Walters’ would face woefully inadequate prosecution in their home states. Walters told WMC, “I don’t know what I would have done without Stacy. … If I hadn’t had Stacy to help the case get federal and get my husband convicted, then I probably would not be here talking to you right now.”

As Gloria Steinem noted at the HBO screening of Private Violence, “According to a vast study by Valerie Hudson in Sex and World Peace, the major indicator of violence in a country—both in the street and by the military—is not poverty, natural resources, religion, or even degree of democracy. It’s violence against females.” In the United States, between 2001 and 2012 more women have been killed by intimate partner violence than all the soldiers who perished in the Afghanistan and Iraq wars combined. Private Violence provides a glimpse into the private trials and temerity of advocates and DV survivors amidst a battleground on home soil.

Private Violence continues on HBO through November and will be available On Demand October 21 and on HBO GO starting November 4. 


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