Uncomfortable

In class my professor stated that being comfortable

is a key factor to a society evolving.

At the time, I took her word for it. But

that night as I tried to fall asleep, I couldn’t help but

think about what she had said.

The more and more I thought about it,

the more and more I started to disagree.

It is with being too comfortable that my problems began

and I was lead astray.

Astray from the life I wanted to live.

Astray from the person I wanted to be.

I got too comfortable with the idea that I wasn’t good enough.

I got too comfortable with thinking that it is alright to

dismiss your intelligence to appear more attractive

in the eye of society.

I got too comfortable with knowing I will never be as

successful as a male who I work just as hard as.

I got too comfortable with the concept that beauty is

only measured with a scale

or a waistline.

I got too comfortable with the fact that my opinions

were not worth being heard.

I got too comfortable with being shoved into a corner

because I wasn’t important.

I got too comfortable with being treated wrongfully by

people I thought were my friends.

I got too comfortable with the idea that my body

wasn’t only mine.

I was so comfortable with thinking of myself as a failure

that I turned into a snowball of

self-destruction,

rolling down a hill,

faster and faster,

becoming greater and stronger until

I was no longer myself.

I would stare myself in the mirror, hating

what was in front of me.

A depressed, hardly living skeleton, without a drop

of self-esteem, faith or hope.

I got too comfortable with the notion that mental

health troubles are something to be ashamed of,

something we should not talk about,

that to get help is a sign of weakness.

But that isn’t right.

And thinking back upon it now, how normal that comfort felt

to everyone, including myself, makes me extremely

uncomfortable.

I am uncomfortable with society trying to define

success by numbers. Money. Followers. Retweets.

It makes me uncomfortable that men try

to intimidate me

reject me

because I am a female

wanting to work in a male dominated industry

and they feel threatened.

It makes me uncomfortable that people hate

themselves for not being what society expects

them to be. I am uncomfortable

with the

fact

that so

many people are

comfortable.

Discomfort is good; it’s what brings change.

Being uncomfortable will redefine the standards

that society or the media have manipulated us to accept.

We should strive for this, as when everyone

around the world, regardless of

age

sex or

race becomes

uncomfortable,

then nobody will have to be.